The Not so Heartless Giant
by Lucinda M. H. Cheshir
Summary: My tribute to the most lovable character in The Princess Bride, the gentle giant, Fezzik.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: ****I ****do ****not ****own **_**The **__**Princess **__**Bride **_**movie ****or ****book****, ****or ****the ****sequel****: **_**Buttercup**__**'**__**s **__**Baby**_**. ****I ****am ****merely ****writing ****this ****for ****fun ****and ****practice****.**

1.

"Waverly and I rescued a pretty lady from drowning today. Look!" _Took_, Fezzik thought to himself as he held up the unconscious body of a young woman for Inigo to see. Sitting securely on Fezzik's broad shoulders, Waverly, Buttercup's baby, burbled happily, waving her arms around. Inigo looked up from fingering the magnificent six-fingered sword. Inigo did not know why he wasn't fencing that day. Perhaps it had something to do with his arms that ached so much that he could not move them in the proper way required for fencing, even fencing shadows. Or perhaps he sensed that something extraordinary was about to happen.

"So you did," Inigo replied to his friend, rising from his sitting position against the Great tree. _Kid__,_ rhymed Fezzik. Inigo examined the girl, oblivious to his friend's latest rhymes. The girl looked, to Inigo, to be in her late teens, certainly over seventeen, and had long black hair and olive-toned skin. "She looks like a Greek," Inigo declared. (This was after Greece.)

"That's just what I thought!" Fezzik said excitedly, happy to have gotten something right. Then his large face quieted. "Should we take her to Buttercup and Westley?" _Bestly__._ Maybe it wasn't a word, but it still rhymed, Fezzik decided. Inigo nodded.

"That seems to be a reasonable plan of action," he said, and led the way to the other side of One Tree Island, his blade-thin body darting through the foliage, with Fezzik lumbering clumsily behind. Waverly, who was still sitting atop Fezzik's shoulders, swayed contentedly as Fezzik moved. She knew that they were going back to her mother.

Before too long, Fezzik and Inigo reached Buttercup's and Westley's dwelling. At this point, it was more of a hut (this was long after huts,) than a proper house (this was after houses, too, but only barely. People still had some trouble telling the difference between the two.) Buttercup came outside to retrieve her child, but stopped short at the sight of the Greek girl.

"Who's that?" Buttercup asked.

"I rescued her from the whirlpool," Fezzik explained. "She's still alive; I know because I checked if she was breathing. And she was."

Buttercup looked at the Greek. The girl was sopping wet, but that came as no surprise, seeing as Fezzik and Waverly were likewise sodden. Buttercup, having no idea where to start, decided that she should try to push the water out of the girl's lungs.

"Put her down, Fezzik," Buttercup ordered. Fezzik silently placed both the Greek girl and Waverly on the soft sands of the beach. Buttercup knelt down and pushed sharply on the Greek's diaphragm, using both her hands until suddenly-

Salty sea water spurted from the Greek's mouth and nose, spraying Buttercup in the face. A second later, the young woman began coughing like the dickens. She attempted to push herself up into a sitting position, but her wet hands slipped in the sand, and she toppled over. Fezzik reached down and helped her get steady. Startled, the Greek looked up, and when she saw Fezzik, her eyes widened in terror. She didn't know that Fezzik was the one who had saved her life. How could she know that? She only knew that Fezzik was tall, and frightening, and looked very capable of tearing someone's head off.

_Author's Notes: This story sprang into life after I re-read the one-chapter sequel of _The Princess Bride_; called _Buttercup's Baby_. The chapter itself is called _Fezzik Dies,_which I just really disagree with. Fezzik is my favourite character! There's no way Morgenstern, or Goldman, or whoever, is going to kill off one of their main heroes, prettymuch the only one who wasn't completely (cork-) screwed at the end of _The Princess Bride. _Oh, yeah. This is based off the book, not the movie. Those of you who read the book will get my little corkscrew joke, the rest will probably think I'm insane. My message to those of you who haven't read the book: **Go read it.** I'm serious, it's an epic book. Probably my most favourite of all time. Well, in any case, please, as ever, review and stay tuned for more! Thanks!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Princess Bride, or its sequel, Buttercup's Baby, or the movie The Princess Bride.  
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"Who are you?" Inigo asked. The girl coughed questioningly. When she was done, she managed to speak.

"What do you mean by that?" she replied.

"Your name would be helpful. Also, the reason you were caught in the whirlpool."

The Greek sighed. "My name is Calliope. I'm from Greece, and I-" here Calliope had to stop to cough some more.

"You speak Florinese very well for a Greek," commented Buttercup. Calliope nodded.

"My mother was Florinese," she explained. "Her father was a merchant from Florin City. Soon after my eighth birthday, both mother's and granddad's lives were claimed by the fever, leaving me in my father's care."

"Was that a bad thing?" Buttercup asked.

"No! Your words sting!" Calliope said indignantly. Fezzik was surprised. He had been trying to think of a rhyme, too, but Calliope had seemed to have a rhyme instantly. Calliope continued talking, completely unaware of Fezzik's amazement. "My father is a good man. He took care of me, even spoiled me occasionally. If it weren't for that swindling hunchback, I'd still be in Greece, living comfortably."

"By any chance, was this hunchback a Sicilian called Vizzini?" Inigo asked ponderously. Calliope nodded.

"Yes. He certainly was a meanie. Vizzini cheated my father out of all of his money. After Vizzini vanished from Athens," (this was after Athens, too) "Father decided that I had to get married. He also decided that it was about time that he got remarried, so father was quite busy finding suitably rich nobles. Honestly, I think I did both of us a favor by faking my death."

"So how did you get here?" Inigo asked.

Calliope shrugged. "Well, it was really quite queer." Fezzik's awe of this Greek was now complete. She rhymed so easily and quickly that he began to wonder what it might be like to play his rhyming game with her. She likely had much more stamina than Inigo, who no longer held much interest in rhymes, preferring instead to brood or fence with shadows, more often than not his own.

"I set out in a rowboat, but then I came into trouble when I hit the whirlpool. The next thing I recalled, I was here, feeling as useful as an empty thread spool." Calliope exhaled loudly, her airways now seemingly clear of water. "Well, now that you know who I am, may I ask who you are?"

"My name is Inigo Montoya," Inigo said after a short pause.

"I'm Buttercup, and this is my daughter Waverly," Buttercup said, following Inigo's example.

"And I am Fezzik," Fezzik said. Calliope jumped. She'd nearly forgotten Fezzik's presence, due to the fact he had been so quiet all through her story. Still, Calliope thought that she had heard the name before, and perhaps had seen his face somewhere. Calliope stood up, legs wobbling, but did not fall. She brushed the sand off of herself and then looked up at the trees, glorious and green, untouched by humans for centuries.

"These trees," Calliope began, her eyes growing misty at the beauty of this most wonderful foliage, "They look exactly as my mother described the trees of Florin once were. She often told me that no olive tree could hope to compete with those Florinese trees and their greatness."

_Hello again. Yes, it's me, Lucy. Long time, no see, I know. Now, I was going to continue on in this vein, with Calliope singing praises of the glorious Florinese trees, in order to remain (hopefully) true to the Morgenstern. However, on second thought, that'd be really boring and tedious to read, and anyway, I think you get the picture. Well, I may or may not be updating again soon, so don't hold your breath or anything._

_Peace,_

_-Lucy_


End file.
